Thanks J Willis
This is definitely a weird feeling. I’ve never felt like this before nor did I ever think that i would feel this way either. I had a very nice, entertaining yet educational chat with one of my professors today. The chat took place right before class, we must’ve chatted for about 1 1/2 hours, it went by so quickly it almost seemed to last only minutes. The interaction was like no other I’ve ever had with a professor, it was serious yet comical, it was dogmatic and pragmatic yet there was an element of trash talking too, it was about law and legality and yet we found a way to zig into soccer and beer and liquor, it was about learning about each other’s lives yet we also spoke about nothing at all, and above all it was f—ing fun! simply delightful. As I made my way out of the classroom, in what i knew was our last lecture of the semester, the glooming thought that I would not have this much fun in another undergrad class, EVER ,started sinking in. I didn’t feel like leaving, I wanted to remain behind and somehow turn the clock back a few minutes just so that I can ask one more question, absorb more material, execute one last joke, I ….just wanted more. For the entire semester I had endure the next class coming in a bit early and having to feel the stares of all those students as if of telling me “yo! your class is over, get the f–k out!” I had seen the other professor come in and “shove” his way into the front of the class as if to tell my professor “DOOD!! your class was over two minutes ago, what are you still doing here? move it along” For the first time I felt the same contempt, aversion, repugnance for the professor and the students that dared take away those extra few minutes that other classes are allowed when they decide to run their sessions a bit longer, that my professor expressed (in confidence) to me about that same issue once, although he was much kinder and much more forgiving than I.
As I made my way to my car I felt awkward, and for the first time I didn’t want to go home. I felt cheated, unjustly robbed of a long, overdue experience of what I had envisioned my entire career at Mason should have been; yet it always felt short and never quite materialized and reached that ideal until just now.
I couldn’t help but feel defeated as I drove off, yet I consoled myself thinking and hanging onto the illusion that I had found, in one of my professors, a new friend and a willing, helping mentor… and with that thought, I exited campus with a renew feeling about school and academia in general.
Thank you J Willis.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.